The Door of Perception

I always write better. I know. It is the reason I deliver such feelings through writing. I hope it has any impact to you all whatsoever. I often ask myself. Why do people so cruel they can say bad things and do whatever to harm other people? I mean, they have many considerations in their heart to distinguish between the good and the bad. But why they decide to do bad things? To spread hatred, to tell lie, to cover their lie with another lie then it becomes a habit, to do social manipulation, to throw mud to other people, or to use people for their advantage?

To be honest, I am learning. I do not understand any of this. I, myself, do bad thing but I always feel sorry for myself afterwards. I talk to myself, I pray, I shout at heart: "How could you do such thing?", "How could you be so heartless?", "It is people's life that you talk about. For God's sake." I do not know. Here, I just write what I feel. I have no intention to quip anyone.

I feel like I need to repay the bad things I had done with goodness. It left so much regrets on me and I can not stand living a life like that. I failed many times to do good things, but it can not stopping me from trying. I give myself a chance learning about basic human nature. Human tend to help themselves first rather than to sacrifice himself for other. Maybe that is why the concept of savior becomes respected. Because it is not easy to give yourself for one's happiness.

Then, I found out that there are so many reasons why people could do bad things. They are hurt. They are bent. They are so angry and they want revenge. They can not make peace with themselves, so they want another people suffer as they do. That might sound so harsh. Allow me to rephrase it. It starts with intention. We all have intentions to do things whether it is good or bad. Behind any intention, there is motives. Motives stir by intention. If both the intention and the motives are good, they feel happy because they synchronize well. Nothing goes wrong with that. No regrets come after. If the intention is bad, people can think that they do it because of good motives. Often they called it white lie. I rather use the word 'justification'. They justify themselves in order to feel less wrong, to comfort themselves doing that thing, because they know for sure that they have bad intention even they think they do that for good favor. It is much worse if both are wrong. The justification they make increases because of the high level of their guilt. Bad intention is toxicating under any circumstances and it destructs the one who tells it.

Perception hurts. Greediness corrupts. There are many door to many perceptions. We do not know which door is right. But we know that every single door leads us to another one. It is the same with one's life. We open door by door. And we surely choose different doors each time. We know, sometimes, we think we are right and we want other people to follow us. We direct them to the same door as ours. And we are all just human and can not stand over rejection. Our ego is speaking. That is the point when we are lost. Ego. 

History repeats with entire groups of people, organizations, and nations, engaging in horrific, immoral behaviour, you name it, genocide, to riots and killings, to massive greed and corruption. People can do such things and we blame each other for it. I think so hard what differentiates good and bad? Is it moral? But moral is subjective. Each group has different morals to make themselves valued. It comes to my mind later on, maybe it is not morals that triggers people to do things and classify it to good and bad. It is never about morals, it is about responsibility. We can not tell people good or bad, but we surely can see them through their capability handling responsibility.

I am amazed by the speech in The Great Dictator. As I quoted what Charlie Chaplin said: "We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other happiness - not by each other's misery. We do not want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way." The key is helping one another, to give our hand fully to help other people, to lose our ego helping those people, to take risks that can harm ourselves when helping them, to take responsibility about humanity. It is never about morals. Never. The root is greediness. People always want more than they could have. That needs to stop. It is never about morals. Not that I say there is no moral. For me, personally, moral is the absence of judgements, as people define what is love. We cut the anxiety about what people perceive on our image. Instead, we fill it with empathy - knowing that each person live with agony and it is our responsibility to cover it with happiness.

With all due respect, I hope people could understand. Have responsibility to human being, do not be greed, always do good, think good, be good whatever happens. Because The Kingdom is wihtin man, we all have power to make this world better, why do not we? To end this writing, I put Mochtar Lubis sayings: "Bunuhlah dulu Harimau dalam dirimu." Make your ego quiet, let your heart speak loud. To those who are lost, I hope they find their way back.