My Bestfriend's Wedding

They say, friends that getting along more than six years or more, will be together until the rest of their life. I must say, it's true. I met these girls eight years ago, back in the high school. We're in the same class, science class, and be together eversince. I have met many girlfriends along my way, but I can say they are the best. Why? Because we are mature enough to know that we do not need drama about boys or else. We are not fighting over boys, grades, or other girl' stuffs. We know the value of ourselves and using that to motivate each other to be better. For me, they mean everything. They have everything. And they teach me (almost) everything. They have qualities that I adore from a girl: a very big and kind heart also a little bit of devil's mouth.

They are the type of friends that going to take a bus with you instead of riding a limo together (although we don't refuse to bid on that one). They clearly never judge under any circumstances. They always speak the good in each other behind the back. They take me as I am and will be next to me no matter how much this life could be such a shit on me. These four girls are my comfort zone. I talk to them without boundaries. They are there in every ups and downs (mostly downs), because in every ups we are clearly together. I remember back there, how they willingly visited me after my first heartbroken. They lend me a shoulder, they buy me an ice cream to cheer me up. We give time to be together without high intention to be looked good or whatsoever. We know when we need our self-time not to be together. Did I already mention that I learn many things from them? I learn how to be a girl that always fun to be with from Amanda. I learn how to be kind to everyone, to be dearly loved by most people from Tiffany. I learn not to give up on things, make friends with anyone, and always care to others from Devina. And I learn how to be a bit realistic, to be more organized, to be a very good and smart girl from the bride in the picture, from Marcelli.

Marcelli is one of girls I always look up to. She's been with her boyfriend (now a husband) since highschool and now...look at them...be together as a happy little family. She shows me how to believe in love. Not to tell you A, B, C, until Z, she takes her life as example instead. That night, I saw how she was amazingly happy, she was very pretty in her wedding dress. I burst my eyes into tears. I was giving a maid of honor's speech that night (it's an honor to me anyway) and I can not hide my shaking voice showing my overexcitement seeing her there. That was kind of day you would remember when you're old and passing the story to your grandchild. "I am witnessing a love story that makes me believe that love conquers all. In the end, it is love that heals us from this world's insanity. It is love that gives us purposes in life. It is only for love, we, all, will do everything to our loved ones." 

I was standing there, looking at her, looking at my bestfriends, and smiling widely. How grateful I am to be surrounded by such big amount of love. That what makes a wedding so special you know, you share nothing but love, you give nothing but gratitude to express to others. In my case, seeing that happiness, marriage become less scary, you know.

I used to believe that love and commitment have a great deal of distinction. Marriage is a real commitment. I was that type of girl which had not believed in marriage. Before, I don't think boys are capable to thing called commitment. I suspected boys that using 'I will marry you someday' as a main weapon to paralyze a girl's heart. I distrusted every boy's intention to have a serious relationship. What about love? Do I believe in love itself? Of course, I do believe in love, but only that kind of love which not involves a commitment in it. I believe that love always has an expire date which leads to the next phase of a relationship: the boring phase, the commitment phase, of which I refuse to have.

In my struggle, from time to time, I'm on my quest to believe into this thing: commitment. It's not easy to attach yourself to one particular person that may hurt you as much he/she loves you. That scary attachment. But then again, I can finally say, from my point of view, that it is quite a journey, you know. That growing part, that changing part I had. Commitment is not a boring thing as a free-lover think it will be (as I thought it would be). And seeing my bestfriend's wedding is one of a thing that makes me sure, that marriage could be one hell of a fun ride anyway. I can think more open to that subject. I open to that kind of possibility now. How can not you have the faith again if you can see that kind of happiness is real? Pity me because I need to see it first to believe, I know. But then again, better late than never, right?

I change my point of view after three years of learning process. I know that the feeling of falling in love with love itself is clearly dissimilar from a vow, a commitment, a marriage. Comitment contains big responsibility that can only be carried by those who are ready. But love, it is a sensation, it is a feeling that you can give freely to every human being without a worry of their existence. Not everyone can be involved on that thing, and I praise those who can. Always. I know real things take time and real efforts. That's why. I get my faith little by little. Now, look where I stand? Here. Happy. Knowing my choice and can deliberately explaining all the whys to you all.

Now, let me thank my bestfriends to make me believe in myself again, to make me believe in love again, to make me have the faith back. Believe me, we all will have that time when we hate everything in life, we disgust love for many reasons (betrayal, jealousy, big heartbreak, assholes that come and go, etc) then we avoid to be in love just because we don't want to be seen as a foolish person who give everything we have and only be awarded by lie (sadly it is done by someone we love completely). We put ourselves in the idle, we build the wall, we distance our mind and our heart until we forget how to use it back, we blind ourselves from living, we do all that. Why? Because we blame love.

We blame love over ourselves. If you do this thing, I beg you to stop. Just please stop. Happiness awaits you. I just want to say this thing to you, don't lose your faith in love, love never hurts, our ego does. Believe me. If you don't, it's okay. You have your time to figure it out anyway. But please don't take too long, it will be such a waste for you and for people that should receive your magical amount of love.

Well, once again, let me hug all of you, one by one, by raising a glass and say cheers to my beautiful bestfriend, Marcelli Indriana. You don't know how much you influence my life. For that, you deserve all the happiness in this world.

With love,

Jessy Ismoyo