Moving on: From the Big City into the Small One

Bukan Pasarmalam, Pramoedya Ananta Toer

JAKARTA  — "Kalau engkau tidak yakin betul, lepaskan cita-citamu untuk jadi guru itu, kataku. Seorang guru adalah kurban  — kurban untuk selama-lamanya. Dan kewajibannya terlampau berat  — membuka sumber kabjikan yang tersembunyi dalam tubuh anak-anak bangsa."

When I moved to Salatiga, everyone was asking me the same question over and over, "Why did you move to that city?" People who knows me, would understand all the whys. But those who knows me less, would questioning the reason. I have been staying in Salatiga for weeks, and all I received was (also) the same question, "Why did you move into this city? Normal people would move from here to Jakarta, city where you live before, but why did you do the opposite?"

I sometimes think, would it be better if I respond honestly? Or should I keep smiling and giving them answers like "God leads," or "This was given for me as blessing, why would I say no?" Those kind of responses always worked under any circumstances. Save me everytime.

But the truth, why? It's an easy answer. Salatiga offers me something that Jakarta could not give: security, warmth, peace and quite, and humility. Weeks I stay here, I can walk alone at night without feeling afraid that someone gonna kidnapp me (when in Jakarta, I need to bring any sharp object in order to defend myself in case something bad happen). The best part is, I don't need to be afraid that some motorcycles crash into me when I walk in the sidewalk.

Hard for me, living in Jakarta, you know. I'm the type of a girl who enjoys public transportation and walking down the street rather than sitting on the car for hours, and Jakarta gives nothing but bad public transportation and zero comfort place to walk in, while Salatiga has it all: clean air, best sidewalk to walk in, and the safety at night. Also, cheers to no traffic jam at all!

More than that, you don't have to fake all things here like in Jakarta. In Jakarta, people hardly recognize how to be kind and patient and sincere. They always think that good things always have bad intentions. I don't say everyone, but most of it. That's the problem about modernization, it gives you space one and another and people's failed to link up again. I think it's the reason they always feel insecure about themselves and easily offended by others. So far I'm here, I don't feel the obligation to jingle up socially like in Jakarta. Sincerity in here sometimes makes me afraid, because to be honest, Jakarta made me to have a space with other people, we have private boundaries even in conversation. But here, it's not polite when you respond a question with things like: "It's none of your bussiness." You know. Something like that. Everything around here feels more sincere and honest and warm.

What else? In here, you don't have the urgency to spoil yourself with transitory things, like it mentioned on Baudrillard theory of consumption. It doesn't apply here, people buy what they need, for what it's use, not for what's the sign worthed in those things. I can feel that though. You gonna get used to the concept of 'having enough' and not buying things impulsively just to impress other or to have 'the place' in the social arena.

Moreover, I always know that I am not the big city girl. In Jakarta, everything moves that fast, you need to be fast if you want to survive, your life becomes a treadmill you sprint on to. You are being haunted by your own work and being relaxed is the least option of your list. All happens because money circles much in Jakarta and money demand you to move faster than you could. Salatiga is the opposite, money is not center of everything. I know the salary is so much better in Jakarta, as well as the opportunity, but Salatiga gives me something more essentials, the realization that money is not the only measurement of life. Here, everything moves slower. You don't have to rush your day. You have quality time for yourself and you value time at the most. That's why people here is way less arrogant in Jakarta, because nothing much to be stressed about here. City's off at 7 PM (remind me of Europe though), the weather is really nice at night, kind of breezy and shady and cool.

Enough about the comparation. Not let hear something else. Doing things you love and being far from home give you goosebumps. It's kind of feeling I haven't experienced before. It allows me to miss people I used to meet everyday, and stop to take home made cooking for granted and thanking my family for giving the best they have to avoid their kids from all the misery in the world. I miss home. It's true that being far from home, form you to be someone new, someone better, someone with fresh ideas and perspectives.

I have nothing more to say. All I want to say that lastly, everyone is so warm. You can tell only by gesture. I need to learn how to be like that from them. I believe I gonna learn so many things here. I gonna survive here and find my own form of happiness. I hope. I hope.

With love,

Jessy Ismoyo